October 2024

Today I am overwhelmed and over stimulated. I do not think that I have slept in over a week. My fuse is short, and my temper is at inferno stage. I have tried praying and asking for Gods help, but I do not think I am doing it right. He keeps telling me not yet! It is not the 4th watch. I am still here but you still have growing to do.

God, why have you left me here? Why do I have to be this way? This is not easy; how can I lead these babies to you when all I ever feel is exhausted? I feel like giving up.

Today I asked for help and heard nothing, today I asked for prayers, and I was met with silence.

Today I asked for rest, and I was met with resistance.

Today I asked for Peace, and I was met with opposition.

I will not back down, I will not quit, I will fight until there is no fight left.

Today, I am tired-but I will not give up

The clouds will part, the sun will shine. The only thing that I can do now is trust that God is who he says he is and that he will do as he promised. He will never leave, and he said, rest, I already took care of it.

My story is not over, it has just begun.